Do you ever just feel out of whack? Nothing is necessarily causing you to have this funky feeling, but you are just in the trenches and nothing seems “right”.
I am in that funk right now. Nothing is terribly wrong in my life. Honestly, it is going great. I have nothing to complain about and I am happy.. I am just also in a funk.
I think it mostly happens that I fall into a funk when I have several different STRONG emotions. Like I am happy and content, but then I am also sad at times, and a little angry.
Many times when we feel unhappy but we have so much to be happy about- we get down on ourselves. I have done it many times, but the more I am aware of my emotions, I realize that it is literally okay to be upset when life is still so great.
I, and you, still have reasons to be upset even though things are great.
I am upset about a multitude of things- all of which are valid.
I am a little mad at God. Yes, you heard that right.
I am a little mad because of my miscarriage. I don’t understand WHY it had to happen. I don’t understand WHY it had to happen to me. WHY have I had to have 3 miscarriages? What have I done to cause this?
The answer is nothing. I have done absolutely nothing wrong to cause this. Nothing that I did or did not do CAUSED this to happen.
And we will never know the answer to these questions this side of Heaven.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)
That used to bother me. I used to not be able to function without knowing an answer to something, but I have peace at this point in my life. I have peace with the fact that God is in control. He KNEW what was going to happen BEFORE it happened. And he knows that I am going to be just fine in the end.
Has it caused turmoil in my marriage? Has it caused me to be angry and short with others? Has it caused my depression to seep back into my life?
The answer to all of that is YES.
However, every time I feel those wild and out of control feelings- I turn to God.
I have found myself reading and digging into a plethora of books and my Bible lately.
I have found myself offering up advise to others straight from scripture.
I have found that my anxiety is less and less everyday because I turn my worries over to God.
Is this something I learned to do easily? Absolutely not. Honestly, I am not good at it all the time. Some days are better than others. It is easy to get caught up in thinking that I am in control of what is happening and that I deserve the glory.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
But man is that WRONG. God deserves ALL of the glory for what is happening in my life. He deserves ALL the praise and credit, during the good and the bad.
“The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. All The Glory Must Be To The Lord.” (Psalm 126:3)
When we are in these moods that I like to call a funk- it is often hard to find the energy to praise God. I get that. I feel that to my core. Truly.
“I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.” (Psalm 34:1)
“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.” (Isaiah 43:2)
It gives me immense peace to know that no matter what I go through, God is with me and he already knows the outcome. He has prepared me for whatever is to come and that gives my heart great peace.
I cannot really explain the peace that I get, because it is beyond words. I can feel God lift my worries and fears away. Until you feel it for yourself, you will probably think I am crazy.
But I have been in the trenches of a FUNK. A true funk that has me experiencing so many strong emotions that are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Like I am so angry, but so content. I am so happy, but so deeply sad.
Just today- I woke up and part of my ceiling had fallen into my kitchen due to a busted pipe. My pregnancy app on my phone went off to tell me how big my baby SHOULD be this week- it’s been two weeks since my miscarriage. I have a to do list as long as a mile that I need to do at work- but I need to be in too many places at once. If only I could clone myself- it would be alot easier. HAHA
All of this to say- it is a hard and long process to get out of a funk. Some of the things that I have found to be helpful:
- Talk to a friend, family member, or professional. Someone you can trust and be open with about your feelings.
- Distract yourself by staying busy. Find a mindless hobby to keep you distracted.
- Journal your feelings. If you do not like to talk out loud, write them down. Get them off your chest. But when they are off your chest, you have to fully let go of them.
- Pray about it and give it up to God fully. If you have trouble with this, pray about that also. Truly- I have prayed about being able to fully hand my problems over. It was not a quick fix, because nothing is a quick fix, but by being diligent and continuing to put importance on the issue at hand, I have learned to trust God fully without holding back.
- Exercise. Get out and get moving!! Exercise does so much good for your body- not only health wise, but mentally. Your body is going to reduce anxiety or depression, along with many other benefits.